Coral Catastrophies ?

20 Feb 2009

Hello all,

Let’s kill coral. 
File:Muchroom coral.JPG

EXPERIMENT # 500,000,001 (years since coral first evolved)
Problem: To kill coral. Why? Because that’s what men do! (… or so I’m told 😉 )

Hypothesis: Let’s nuke the buggers! Why? Because we are strong and they are weak. No Problem.
Procedure: Detonate a thermonuclear device on coral. Better still … let’s do it 10 times … just to be sure.
The 150-megaton thermonuclear explosion at Bikini Atoll on 1 March 1954 was one of a series of nuclear test explosions carried out by major powers in the 1950s.
Results: Oops … it’s already been done!
…And…Coral springs back to life! Damn!
Conclusion: Failure. Adjust the hypothesis.

EXPERIMENT # 500,000,002  
New Hypothesis: Let’s poison the little blighters. Why? Because we are big and they are small. No problems.
Procedure: Fill the air with that “deadly” gas CO2 say … 10 times (I like 10s :-))) the current “catastrophic” concentration ie. pump it up to 4000 parts per million. That means the oceans should become hot Carbonic Acid stewing pots …right?  And everyone loves cooked seafood!…Yum yum. Great … lets do it!

Results: Oops…Nature already did it during the Ordovician! And…Coral loves it! Damn II!
Conclusion: Failure. Adjust the hypothesis.
EXPERIMENT # 500,000,003 (Last try … then I’m off for a drink at The Local.)   
New Hypothesis: Let’s give these little guys a bad case of sunburn! Take away their water! Ha Ha…
                       Why? Well … everybody likes being on a beach, don’t they? 
Procedure: Bring on a new Ice Age! Suck those seas dry, say … by 100 meters, lock that water up in the icecaps!
                Not so hard to do … we are already way overdue.
Results: Success!!! Yippee!!! Nature did it! … with the End Permian Extinction…

….and it worked…almost … only 89% gone…Damn III !
Conclusion: These blighters are hard to knock off! (… And I’m off to the pub!)


HAPPY ENDING: Australia’s Great Barrier Reef will be, as always, waiting with exquisite beauty and open arms, full of life, warmth and wonder, whenever you happen to drop on by.
Have a warm relaxing break and see you merry souls next week.
Best regards,
Coral Loving Brady

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